Pros of Late Marriage for Men Who Haven't Been in Relationships
1. Financial Stability: By the time a man reaches his 30s, he’s likely more financially stable compared to his younger years. His career might be on track, and he can provide a more secure environment for his future family. However, the benefits here are superficial at best. Financial success might attract women, but it's not a guarantee of respect, love, or loyalty. Women who seek men in their 30s often look for "beta providers"—the guys who they didn't want when they were in their prime but now seem useful for resources and stability.
2. Maturity: With age comes experience and wisdom, at least theoretically. Men in their 30s are often more emotionally stable. But here’s the brutal reality—maturity is overrated when it comes to dating and relationships. Women, particularly those who've already been through the dating wringer with "bad boys," don't care as much about your emotional maturity. They care about the resources you bring to the table after wasting their prime years chasing guys who couldn’t care less.
3. Fewer Distractions: Men who marry later and who have avoided relationships earlier might be able to devote more time and energy to their wives and children. However, this too can backfire. Women often see overly attentive, "nice guys" as boring, predictable, and uninspiring—traits that do not stimulate long-term desire.
Cons of Late Marriage for Men Who Haven't Been in Relationships
1. You're the Backup Plan: Brutal truth—by the time women in their late 20s or early 30s marry you, you’re not their first choice. They’ve already lived through their exciting "bad boy" phase. They’re only with you because their options with the alpha males, the ones they truly desired, have dried up. Essentially, you're their "settling down" option, not the one who made their hearts race.
Proof: Data from dating platforms like Ok Cupid, Bumble, and Tinder reveal that the top 5% of men receive 76% of the attention from women. The rest? You’re fighting for leftovers, literally. Most men in their 30s are entering marriages where they aren't truly desired but merely tolerated for their stability and financial capability.
2. High Chance of Being Cheated On: By marrying late and without prior relationship experience, you’re setting yourself up for a statistical nightmare. Women, especially those with "colorful" pasts, tend to get bored with "nice guys" within 2-3 years of marriage. majority of Indian women are reportedly involved in extramarital affairs. Why? They crave the excitement they once felt with their "bad boys"—something you’ll never be able to replicate.
Research: Harvard University research shows that over 70% of women under 30 are more attracted to toxic men than stable, secure partners. This means that even if you're financially secure, if you're emotionally stable, you don't fit the mold of the kind of man that excites them. You're just a "beta provider," a placeholder.
3. Sexual Discontent: Let’s be brutally honest—many women who marry later, after having had previous relationships, are not going to be satisfied with you in bed. If she's had better sexual experiences with a more physically dominant, confident, or aggressive man, your performance will likely pale in comparison. No amount of financial security can make up for the primal thrill she once felt with a man who excited her on a deeply physical level.
Evidence: A majority of women (up to 80%) lose their virginity to the top 20% of attractive, dominant "bad boys." When they marry a "nice guy" later, their sexual history becomes a problem for the man, whether she admits it or not. She might engage in the act, but emotionally? She's checked out, often fantasizing about her ex during sex with you. The notion that she’s physically with you but mentally elsewhere is a soul-crushing reality most men in late marriages have to face.
4. You're Her Retirement Plan: Women approaching the "wall"—the point where their looks fade, and their dating options dwindle—aren’t marrying you out of love. They’re marrying you for security. They know that their days of attracting high-value men are over, so they settle for the reliable, safe option. You. Essentially, you're not the love of her life—you’re her last resort.
Evolutionary Psychology : The concept of "Alpha Seed, Beta Need" explains this. Women pursue alpha males for fun, excitement, and procreation in their youth, but when they need stability, they turn to beta males—those men who were once invisible to them. You, as the "nice guy," are providing her with financial security, not emotional fulfillment or sexual excitement.
5. You're Out of Your Depth: Men who have never been in relationships before marriage are at a severe disadvantage. You don’t understand the dynamics, the manipulation tactics, the emotional complexities that women who've been through multiple relationships bring to the table. You’re inexperienced, which means you’ll be easily manipulated, walked over, and dominated in the marriage. Women with past relationships know how to play the game, and you’re still learning the rules.
Societal Reality: Divorce statistics back this up. In the West, 80% of divorces are initiated by women. In India, men in arranged marriages, particularly those who marry late, are more susceptible to being used as financial safety nets while their wives explore other sexual or emotional avenues with lovers.
6. You’re a Pawn in the System: Marriage in India is increasingly becoming a trap for men, especially late marriages. Gender-biased laws favor women. If your wife cheats on you or files a false domestic violence case, you're likely to lose half of your assets, face social stigma, and potentially lose custody of your children. If she leaves you, the alimony and child support laws are overwhelmingly tilted in her favor.
Cold Fact: In India, a husband is killed every 32 hours due to wife-led extramarital affairs or domestic conflicts. Gender-biased laws and societal double standards mean men have little recourse once they’re trapped in an unhappy marriage.
Final Brutal Truth
Late marriage for men, especially those who haven’t been in relationships before, is a dangerous gamble where you’re likely to lose. You’re marrying a woman who's not in love with you, who’s with you for financial security, and who may never fully respect or desire you. You're the backup plan, the second option, the "nice guy" who was ignored during her prime but now serves a purpose. And statistically, she might cheat on you, leave you, or use you as a financial safety net while her mind and body are elsewhere.
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